Renegade
by insignificantramblings
Summary: Facing exile from France, Enjolras chooses the only option that will allow him to stay in his beloved country: marriage. The bride? Éponine, who has no choice but to go along with the ruse to protect him. Forced sleeping arrangements, awkward interactions, and the duping of national agents ensues, and they realize their "romance" may not be as fake as they thought. e/e; modern AU
1. Introduction

**Whoops. Here I am again. I didn't quite **_**mean**_** to start a new story, but Guilt will be winding down soon, and this idea wouldn't go away. This is just an introduction; of course it starts with a crime/arrest, BUT I'm shooting for a much lighter/happier/funnier story than The Law of Love. Hope you guys enjoy this; if there's any ideas you all have/anything you would like to see, let me know! **

**Renegade; Intro **

_the renegade who had it made_

_retrieved for a bounty_

_never more to go astray _

_this will be the end today _

_of the wanted man_

"Are we supposed to act…happy? Supportive?" Courfeyrac questioned nervously, his fingers clumsily adjusting the bowtie at his neck.

"Can you…" Combeferre trailed off in agitation, his hand slapping Courfeyrac's fingers away before he took over the placement of the bowtie. "I'm not sure how we're supposed to act." He sighed, his own fingers unlooping what Courfeyrac had done. "It's not like any of us are trained for this kind of thing."

"I didn't think I would ever see the day."

"Well, technically, you really aren't."

"True." Courfeyrac mused, his eyes wandering as Combeferre put the finishing touch on his bowtie. "Do you think they'll get caught?"

"Keep your voice down." Combeferre chastised, as he stepped toward the mirror to inspect himself. "You know the story."

"Yes, of course. They were secretly dating for over a year, before they surprised us with an engagement announcement." Courfeyrac recited. Combeferre nodded.

"Exactly. Which isn't totally untrue."

"It's completely untrue, 'Ferre, what are you talking about?"

"It was a surprise."

"Yes, but they were never secretly dating. They weren't dating at all! They're still not dating!"

"Quiet." Combeferre hissed, his eyes darting around nervously. "Anyone could be here, remember?"

"It's a private event."

"It's a private event that is just for show, you know that. If they didn't think people were watching, we wouldn't even be here."

Courfeyrac said nothing, just sighed in response. In truth, he had _never_ excepted to be at Enjolras's wedding rehearsal, let alone one to their friend Éponine. It had come out, however, that the two of them had been dating on the down low for almost a year and a half, and then one day, had walked into the Musain and announced their engagement.

Except, Courfeyrac, Combeferre and the rest of the ABC Society knew it was a lie.

In reality, Enjolras had been arrested a week before his wedding rehearsal.

Fresh out of college, a young Auguste Enjolras was immediately employed in the French government, as an aide to an important member of the Ministry of Defense. Unbeknownst to his friends, Enjolras had been secretly gathering information regarding foreign policy. He meant to use the information to organize his own revolt; his eventual goal was to lead a protest group against the government as an "inside leader", one who had been employed within the very walls he was rebelling against.

Unfortunately, Enjolras's plans had gotten away from him, and his own coworkers had started gathering evidence against him. This information was turned into the authorities, and Enjolras was handed over the French Police.

He was immediately charged as being a "danger to society", and was instructed to leave the country. The government couldn't be bothered with a trial; they didn't want the whole country to know they had a rogue employee uncovering their secrets. Instead, they figured exile was the best option.

They did not expect Enjolras to put up such a fight. As his first, and only love would always be France, he simply refused to leave. The government lawyers argued against him, asserting that he had no reason to stay, and that if he wanted to avoid a spectacle, he would leave.

Enjolras, however, knew the law, and the stipulations. And that was why he calmly told the lawyers that he would soon – within the month – be married, and would therefore need to stay. When prompted to reveal the name of his betrothed, Enjolras took a deep breath and named the only woman he thought would help him: Éponine Thenardier.

The government lawyers were not stupid, however, and suspected fault immediately. They assured Enjolras that they would be "checking in" on he and Éponine, to be sure they were engaged in an honest way. Enjolras had expected this, and began to set up the most elaborate ruse that France had ever seen.

And now, a week later, at his wedding rehearsal. A week that had been a whirlwind for everyone: they had to find a location for the ceremony, invite guests, get Éponine a dress, and ultimately, rehearse enough stories and facts so that if _anyone _was watching, Éponine and Enjolras would look like any other newlywed couple.

It had been _exhausting_.

"Ready?" A knock at the door revealed Marius, who was nervously adjusting his own tie.

"We're ready." Courfeyrac sighed, before rolling his shoulders and turning toward the door.

"As ready as we'll ever be." Combeferre confirmed.

"Oh come on guys," Marius said, before throwing an arm around both men's shoulders. "This will be fun!"

"How do you figure?"

"Well, for one, we never thought we would ever be preparing for Enjolras's wedding, right?"

"Right…"

"And…" Marius seemed to struggle to come up with another reason. "Oh! Grantaire is taking bets for a couple different things. The first is how long it will be before Éponine kills Enjolras, and the second is for how long it takes for them to frickle frackle."

"Frickle Frackle?" Courfeyrac asked with amusement. Marius flushed.

"You know…have sex."

"I know, Marius."

"They won't be…frickle frackling." Combeferre said, rolling his eyes at the thought. "They're friends, but can you _really_ see them doing that?"

"Nope." Courfeyrac replied. "More likely that Éponine will kill him."

"Agreed."

"In any case," Marius said loudly, his hands dropping from Courfeyrac and Combeferre's shoulders. "I think we should just use tonight and tomorrow as a time to be together and celebrate."

"Celebrate what, exactly? Enjolras being arrested, or Éponine being forced into marriage with him?"

"Cynical." Marius chastised, before brightening. "Let's just celebrate new beginnings, yeah?"

Courfeyrac laughed sarcastically, before leaning forward to push open the door the banquet hall. His eyebrows raised as he regarded the scene; their friends were awkwardly standing to the left, while Enjolras's family sat to the right. Éponine and Enjolras themselves were not there yet.

"Well," Courfeyrac said cheerfully. "Here's to new beginnings!"

**Well, there's the intro! Let me know what you guys think! I'll be jumping back in time shortly to get into Enjolras asking Éponine to "marry" him, and there will be more on the arrest in the future. Love always! xoxo Brittany **


	2. Chapter 1: Questions

**Thank you guys for the positive response to the introduction! I'm really looking forward to writing this story. As usual, I'm bending the law a bit to fit my story; I'm not actually confident of the laws in France, but I'm making them up to fit into my story. You'll recognize the concept from the movie "The Proposal", but the concept is really all I'm taking from it. I've also made up a scandal with the French President (explained briefly here) as the reason why the Ministry of Defense does not want to just arrest Enjolras. Hope you all enjoy this one! **

Renegade; Chapter One

"I'll be married within the month."

It was with these six words that Auguste Enjolras changed everything. Not only for himself, not only for Éponine, but also for every single person around them. Their friends, their families, and their employers would feel the effects of the sudden and unexpected announcement.

"You're engaged?" The reaction was one of shock. Enjolras, however, fought to control his rising heart rate, and calmly answered.

"Yes. I have been for some time now."

"What's the wedding date?"

"May fifteenth."

"Where is it going to be?"

"The chapel at the Sorbonne. Reception to follow at Café Musain."

"And who," Enjolras's boss, Sebastian, who had been so cocky in exiling his subordinate, began with a sneer. "is the bride?"

"Éponine Thenardier."

"Thenardier?" Enjolras's coworker, Henri, scoffed. "As in Gregor Thenardier, the con man?"

"That," Enjolras said lowly. "Is none of your concern." As always, his tone was enough to quiet anyone, and Henri shrank back in his seat. "Now, the law, gentlemen, concerning marriage and exile."

"In the case of an _already married_ man and wife, the exiled party may stay in the country. You, Auguste, are not already married." Sebastian said haughtily.

"If you continued reading the law," Enjolras began, a smug smile appearing on his lips. "You would note that _betrothed_ parties are allowed to remain in the country as well."

Sebastian's face turned purple, and he began gnashing his teeth together in agitation. "Laws can be changed!"

"These laws have been in place since the time of Louis XIV, sir, I doubt they will be changed any time soon." Enjolras said, a full smirk on his face.

Sebastian knew he was caught. On one hand, Auguste Enjolras had information about the Ministry of Defense that could _never_ get out. He needed to be punished, silenced and exiled from the country before he could do any damage. On the other hand, after a recent scandal involving the French President and a questionable number of mistresses, the government could not afford any more bad press. Arresting an employee would not cause any trouble. Arresting potential rebel Auguste Enjolras, who had friends all over the city, would cause a scandal.

Sebastian had no choice.

"This is a measured release." He said slowly, his eyes rising to meet Enjolras. "Don't think for one second that I believe your story of marriage, Auguste. I think you're lying through your teeth, and I'm sure this Thenardier girl has no idea of your 'engagement'. We will postpone your exile."

"Postpone? I thought I was clear that I was getting married and I would have to be allowed to stay, the law clearly – "

"Postponed, in the case that we find your marriage to be…less than true." Sebastian said, cutting Enjolras off mid-sentence. "We will be checking up on the two of you."

"That's breach of privacy, you can't – "

"I work for the Ministry of Defense, Enjolras, I assure you that I can do what I want. If you fight me on this, scandal be damned, I will arrest you." Sebastian stated, staring down his nose at Enjolras with hatred. "If we find your marriage is not true, you will be arrested for fraud, and so will your little 'wife', understand?"

Enjolras said nothing, just nodded curtly, before standing from his seat and striding toward the door.

"Oh, and Enjolras? Do send us an invitation to the wedding."

* * *

When Éponine Thenardier received a text message that said "do not talk to any government officials or police", she didn't realize it would mark the start of the rest of her life. Instead, she assumed it was another one of Enjolras's 'situations'; the ones they used to get into during college that sometimes culminated in multiple arrests or temporary suspensions. It had, however, been some time _since_ college, and Éponine was slightly worried about _why_ Enjolras was tangled up with the law again.

During her lunch hour, she asked Combeferre and Courfeyrac, who were sharing a piece of cake at the Musain, if they had received a similar text. Éponine's worry increased when the response was negative. A quick check with Marius and Cosette (who were also at the Musain) also produced confusion, and Éponine's worry turned into serious anxiety.

As a Thenardier, the presence of police and government workers was always a concern. Éponine would never forget the connotations of officers; as a child, it meant foster care, as a teenager, it was juvenile detention, and now, it was worry for herself and her siblings that her father had escaped prison.

The hours passed as Éponine worked at the homeless shelter downtown, passing out food to patrons and speaking with the children who approached the table. She had gone to school for business, but found that the harsh corporate world was not for her. Midway through school, she had changed her major to political science, later graduating with honors. Her days were spent at the homeless shelter, while her nights were full of classes for her Socio-economic Development masters program. Her eventual goal was to dedicate herself not only to aiding the less fortunate, but trying to find solutions to end their suffering.

When Éponine left the shelter at six, she headed to the Musain for dinner. It was Wednesday, the day when the former ABC Society gathered at the Musain until close to midnight. Wednesdays had been the allotted time for their meetings during college, so it only seemed fitting to meet on the same day.

"Éponine! Did you ever hear from Enjolras?" Courfeyrac called as soon as she entered the café. He was sitting in the same seat he had occupied during lunch. Combeferre was still next to him.

"No, not yet. He won't answer my messages, so I guess I'll just talk to him tonight." Éponine sighed, her shoulders shrugging as she approached the table. She dropped her bag and slumped into the seat; her days were always spent standing, and she was exhausted every night.

"What happened?" Grantaire questioned. He was walking to the table from the front counter, balancing soup in one hand and a cup of coffee in the other.

"Enjolras texted 'Ponine something really odd today, we're just talking about it." Combeferre supplied. At Grantaire's raised eyebrow of confusion, Combeferre looked to Éponine.

"He said," she started, pausing to pick up her phone. "'do not talk to any government officials or police'."

"Weird."

"Not for Enjolras," Courfeyrac pointed out, and Grantaire shrugged again.

"Maybe not for Enjolras in college, but now? He's employed for the Ministry of Defense, what sort of thing could he be getting into?" Grantaire reasoned. Everyone was silent as they considered.

"Would he intentionally get in trouble?" Courfeyrac asked.

"You know him, what do you think?"

"Absolutely yes." Courfeyrac said flatly. "Especially if it was something for the rights of the people or something like that."

"None of the prisons have called yet looking for bail money."

"True, but he has his phone, he texted Éponine…"

"And that too, why me?" Éponine questioned. "If he was in trouble, why not text all of us?"

"That, my friend, will be answered soon, because here he comes." Grantaire said, pointing out the window. Éponine turned around to see Enjolras, just outside the door. In lieu of waiting, Éponine stood, and strode to the door. She opened it before he had a chance to, and with a questioning look, asked him what was going on. He calmly asked her if she would get into his car so they could talk, and with a wave to the three men inside the café, she left.

"What's going on?" Éponine's first question was blunt, and to the point.

"I'm in trouble."

"Legal?"

"Yes."

"What did you do?"

"I love that your question is what I did, and not if I'm guilty or not." Enjolras said, a hint of a smile on his face.

"Well, I know you, and you probably did something." Éponine pointed out, and Enjolras laughed lightly.

"You're right. I was snooping."

"At work?"

"Yes."

"At the _Ministry of Defense_?"

"That is in fact where I work."

"Don't be smart, Enjolras, are you telling me that you were snooping information on the government's defense?"

"Yes."

"And you didn't think you would get caught?"

"Not really."

"And you did."

"Obviously."

"Okay." Éponine took a deep breath, before turning her focus out the front window. They were driving on a back road in Paris, and there were no other cars in sight. "What does this have to do with me?"

"Don't be mad at me." Enjolras said, a hint of hesitation in his tone. "I had to…make some claims."

"What kind of claims?" Éponine's voice was cautious; she had no idea what to expect.

"That…um…" Éponine had never seen Enjolras at a loss for words. It would have been comical, had she not been so nervous.

"Spit it out."

"I told them I was getting married." Enjolras spoke so fast, Éponine almost didn't catch his words.

"Okay…"

"I told them I was getting married to you."

Silence followed Enjolras's declaration. He stared at the window, his fingers holding the steering wheel in a death grip. Éponine's jaw slackened, her thoughts running through her head at a mile a minute.

"You told them _what_?" Éponine's tone was low, and deadly.

"I'm sorry," Enjolras said quickly. "I didn't mean to – "

"You told them we're _getting married?_"

"Yes, and I'm sorry. I didn't want to drag you into this, but there were no other options, I had to say something –"

"_No other options?" _Éponine shouted incredulously. Enjolras jumped, and jerked the wheel to the left. "Pull the _fuck_ over, _now."_ In lieu of arguing, Enjolras turned on his blinker, and pulled the car to the right side of the road. "You are telling me that you _knowingly_ broke the law, snooped the Ministry of Defense, and then when you were _caught_ – which by the way, was _your fault_ – you told them you were marrying me?"

Enjolras finally turned away from the windshield to face Éponine. "I'm sorry, I know it was my fault, but I was hoping you would help me."

"Help you? _Of course_ I would help you. I would help you with bond money, or a ride, or finding a lawyer, but _marrying you?_ That's insane, Enjolras, and you know it."

"I do know it, Éponine, and again, I'm sorry, but I told them we were getting married on May fifteenth, and – "

"TWO WEEKS FROM NOW?"

Enjolras flinched. "Yes, two weeks from now."

"And did you ever once consider me, Enjolras? Or did you just assume that I would help you?"

"Well, of course, I hoped you would, I would do the same for you –"

"The difference is, Enjolras, that I wouldn't ask you to do this." Éponine said bitterly. "You don't think before you do things, and you certainly didn't think about how this would affect me."

"We could get divorced in a year, it would be okay…"

"Okay? What if one of us meets someone? What if I don't _want_ to be married and divorced by age 25?" Éponine asked with exasperation, wondering _what _was so difficult that Enjolras did not _get._

"I know it's not ideal, but…"

"Take me home." Éponine commanded, shifting her eyes back to the road. "I don't want to talk about this."

"But we have so much to get together, stories to rehearse…"

"Enjolras! Don't. Just drive." Éponine tried in vain to hide the tears gathering in her eyes. "Take me home, _now._"

Enjolras put the car back in drive and started down the street.

"Éponine, I – "

"Don't speak."

"I just –"

"I do not want to speak to you." Éponine said through gritted teeth.

"Okay."

The ten-minute ride passed in silence. Tears ran unchecked down Éponine's face; on one hand, she was pissed off at Enjolras, and _certainly_ did not want to marry him in two weeks. On the other hand, Enjolras was one of her friends, and she didn't want him to be exiled. Not that it would be her fault, since he had been the one breaking the law.

"We're here." Enjolras murmured. Éponine looked up to see the front of her apartment building.

"Thanks for the ride." Éponine muttered. She turned to the door, her fingers closing around the handle, until a gentle hand on her arm pulled her back.

"You don't have to do this." Enjolras said gently, his eyes more earnest than Éponine had ever seen. "I'm sorry I said what I did. You're right…I wasn't thinking. I was too in the moment, and only considering myself. I'm sorry."

"Enjolras. You're right, you weren't thinking, and you were being selfish." Éponine began. A small smile of regret appeared on Enjolras's face. "But I'm your friend, and…if you need a wife for a little while, I can do that."

"You…you're serious?" Enjolras's jaw dropped as he considered her words.

"I'm serious." Éponine said flatly. "But, one condition."

"Anything."

"Buy me a nice ring. If we're doing this, _nothing _will be half-ass."

**As always, reviews/suggestions are appreciated. Thank you for your support! xoxo Brittany**


	3. Chapter 2: News

**HEY EVERYONE. Sorry for the delay :/ I know I suck. THE THING IS. I just got a promotion at work (!) and have been LOADED busy/stressed/overwhelmed, but all in all, it has been a GREAT learning experience and I'm glad it's happening! Unfortunately, it's taken away a lot of my leisure time, because my brain is "WORK WORK WORK" all the time, but you guys should know I'm not going to forget about any stories! Without further ado (and excuses), here is chapter two! **

* * *

Chapter Two: News

"I have something really important to tell you." Éponine's voice was grave as she regarded Cosette, whose smile dropped off her face instantly.

"What's going on?" Cosette's voice was panicked. "Are you dying? Is Gav dying? Am I dying?"

"No one is dying." Éponine said, suppressing a smile at Cosette's concern. "It's…I'm getting married."

Cosette said nothing, just stared blankly. Éponine waited patiently for her to process the information, which took nearly thirty seconds.

"Getting…married?" Cosette questioned slowly. "I didn't even know you were dating anyone."

"Well…technically I'm not…and I haven't been."

"Then how…"

"It's a long story, but basically, Enjolras –"

"YOU'RE MARRYING ENJOLRAS?"

"Keep your voice down!" Éponine hissed, her eyes darting around Cosette's apartment. Marius could walk in at any time, and Enjolras wanted to tell all of his friends what was going on.

"I'm sorry, but REALLY?" Cosette asked, her eyebrows still raised in shock. "Not that it's completely surprising, but – "

"Hang on, what do you mean it's not completely surprising? It is a surprise…It's not even real…" Éponine trailed off, ignoring Cosette's eye roll.

"Please, Éponine, I've thought for a few years that you two would go really well together. You just…balance each other out. Plus, you get along really well, so it's not like the sexual thing couldn't just develop."

"Ew, okay, stop. This isn't a marriage like that…this is happening because Enjolras got arrested at work and needs to get married so he doesn't get deported!"

Again, Cosette was silent as she tried to process the information. "Arrested?" She finally asked. "What did he do this time?"

"Snooped at his job."

"At the Ministry of Defense." Cosette deadpanned, her eyes rolling skyward. "Why am I not shocked? Are we invigorating the people again? Do we have to bail him and Courf out of jail for inciting a riot again?"

Éponine laughed at the memory of their sophomore year of college. Enjolras and Courfeyrac had attended an informative seminar about a law change that affected the rights of the people. Enjolras – as usual – had gotten so worked up that he had started ranting about the social structure of France, and had eventually gotten so many people interested in his cause that a riot broke out. The police showed up soon after and arrested Enjolras, and then Courfeyrac, who had tried to defend his friend from the police.

"I honestly don't know what he's doing." Éponine admitted honestly, before shrugging her shoulders gently. "He…he hasn't told me what it was that he found."

"Aren't you his betrothed?" Cosette teased, a smirk on her face. "Shouldn't he be honest with you?"

In lieu of answering, Éponine's face crumbled. The smile immediately dropped from Cosette's face and she surged forward to wrap Éponine in her arms.

"I'm just kidding, I'm joking, I'm sorry…" She rambled, which only caused Éponine to cry harder.

"It's not…you…" She sobbed, her face buried into the crook of Cosette's elbow. "I don't…want…to get married!"

Cosette stopped, and considered Éponine's predicament. On one hand, she _really _had always thought that Éponine and Enjolras would make a spectacular couple. On the other hand, they weren't dating. They weren't even best friends. Granted, they had known each other for a number of years, had been through quite a lot together, and were _good_ friends. But if…say, Combeferre had asked Cosette to marry him? Marius aside, would she be able to give up her entire life to marry a friend to keep them safe? Cosette wasn't sure if she could.

But, Éponine was a lot braver than she was, that much Cosette knew.

"Honey, I understand." Cosette said soothingly. "I don't blame you; I wouldn't want to do this either. But what you're doing… it's so commendable, you know that? You're so brave, and such an amazing friend, to do this for him. And you know…you know he appreciates it immensely, even if he has a hard time showing it."

"I know." Éponine sniffed, her head rising off Cosette's arm. She dragged her sleeve across her nose and took a deep breath, her eyes stinging from the tears. She hadn't cried in a _long_ time. "And I can't imagine not helping him. It's just kind of shitty, you know?"

"I understand." Cosette said. "Also…it's not too late to back out."

"I can't." Éponine said, shaking her head forlornly. "Even if I really wanted to, I couldn't. I can't let Enjolras get deported."

"Technically it wouldn't be your fault. He's the idiot that decided snooping the Ministry of Defense was a good idea."

"You're right…but I've agreed. And he would do the same for any of us."

Cosette sighed; she knew Éponine was right. "Well, look on the bright side." Cosette started cautiously; it seemed that Éponine's tears had stopped. "You are going to have one hot husband."

Éponine laughed, her eyes rolling skyward at Cosette's conclusion. "Serious matters aside, you're right." She admitted. "He is pretty hot."

"And when you guys do the do…"

"Stop now."

"In all seriousness, anything you need, any support, you know I've got your back, right?"

"Of course. Oh, I forgot…be my maid of honor?" Éponine questioned. At once, Cosette's eyes filled with tears.

"I would be honored!"

"And of course…next time, when it's real, I want you there, too."

"Of course." Cosette said, but as she leaned forward to wrap Éponine in another hug, only one thought was on her mind: "Operation Make Éponine and Enjolras Fall In Love" was _on_.

* * *

"If this is going to amount in arrest, I want no part of it." Courfeyrac's demeanor was dead serious as he regarded Enjolras, who was standing in the front of the Musain, his friends all peering at him from their seats.

"No, Courf, there will be no arrests." Enjolras sighed, his fingers rising to rub circles into his forehead. He could already tell that it was going to be a long night.

"What's going on, then?" Marius asked, the whine evident in his voice. "Cosette has tonight off, I'd really like to get home to – " A glare from Enjolras halted his words.

Enjolras took a deep breath. "There's really no easy way to say this. I'm getting married."

Bahorel dropped his coffee. Courfeyrac's mouth was hanging open. Combeferre looked like he had just eaten something unpleasant. Marius's eyes were wider than they had been the time he walked in on Combeferre and Courfeyrac. Joly was nervously glancing between Lesgle and Feuilly, who were sitting on either side of him looking dumbstruck. Only Grantaire looked amused.

"Wow, douchebag, thanks for telling us that you were dating someone, we're only your best friends!" He said cheerfully, though there was no trace of humor in his tone. Enjolras sighed again, his impending migraine pulsating behind his eyes.

"I'm not."

"Then how…" Marius asked, trailing off. He had been dating Cosette for _years_, and they weren't married, let alone engaged.

"It's…it's not a real marriage." Enjolras said slowly. When no one interrupted, he took a deep breath and charged on. "I was snooping at my job and I got caught and they were going to deport me and one way that you can avoid being deported is by getting married so I told them I was going to be getting married to Éponine so now I won't get deported and the wedding is in less than two weeks."

He said this all very fast. After several seconds, the room erupted.

"Hang on, you were going to be deported?"

"You were _snooping at the Ministry of Defense?"_

"Éponine agreed to marry _you_?"

"You're going to fake a _marriage?"_

"You REALLY think this is going to work?"

"I'm honestly shocked Éponine didn't throttle him." Grantaire said, rolling his eyes as he took a swig of his beer. There was a murmur of agreement.

"Yeah, what _did_ she say?" Courfeyrac asked suspiciously. "You _have_ told her, right?"

"Of course I've told her. She was…not overly thrilled, but she agreed."

"Are you an idiot? Of course she wasn't thrilled!" Combeferre burst out, his eyes wide at his friend's stupidity. "This may be news to you, but girls plan their wedding from the time they're like… ten. Nobody wants their first marriage to be _fake_!"

"Well, I don't either, but she's agreed to help me until this all blows over, and then we can get divorced." Enjolras said logically. "It's just marriage, it's not hard to undo."

"You utter ass." Courfeyrac said lowly, ignoring Combeferre's calming hand on his arm. "Do you even understand how hard _our_ community has had to fight for the right to marry? And you sit here saying that having a fake marriage is no big deal, and that it's not hard to undo? Jesus fucking Christ."

"Courfeyrac, that's not what I meant…" Enjolras said, trailing off as Courfeyrac stood.

"I'm going to go and see Éponine." He announced. "She needs _someone_ who's supportive of her through all this. I can already tell that her _husband_ – " He spit the word like venom. "- will not be."

Without another word, he walked out of the café. Combeferre sent an apologetic look to the group, before hurrying out after his boyfriend.

"That went well." Marius observed, sarcasm laced through his words.

"Yeah, you really fucked that one up!" Grantaire said lightly. Enjolras ground his teeth together in agitation.

"Maybe you should…apologize to them, and then go and talk to Éponine?" Joly suggested quietly. Enjolras nodded curtly.

"You're right." He said, his frustration and shame mounting by the second. He had already asked Éponine to marry him, completely for his own gain, and now, he had made a mockery of a right that had been denied to his two best friends until recently. Some fighter for justice _he_ was.

"How did Éponine really react?" Marius asked. Enjolras shrugged.

"She was upset." He said honestly. "But she agreed to help. I told her she didn't need to, but she still said she would. She's…doing me a huge favor, and I'll never be able to repay her. I feel…bad that she is doing this, even though it's helping me."

"You have emotions!" Bahorel said sarcastically.

"But think!" Jehan suddenly announced. "Think of the possibilities! You two will be living together, correct?"

Enjolras considered the question, before nodding. "I suppose we have to, since we're being monitored."

"So the whole 'marriage is a sham' thing has to stay between us?" Feuilly asked, to which Enjolras nodded.

"Anyway!" Jehan said, bringing the attention back to his speech. "They'll be living together. Close proximity. No way to get away from each other. They're already friends. They're both attractive people. Something is bound to happen."

"Something…" Enjolras said, trailing off in confusion. If Jehan was suggesting that the close proximity would make them murder each other, then he was probably right.

"Jesus, Enjolras, use your brain." Bahorel said, rolling his eyes in agitation.

"Sex, Enjolras, sex!" Marius said, practically bouncing in his chair. "Jehan, I think you're onto something."

"No, no, no, stop it, all of you!" Enjolras said, trying to keep his voice in check as his cheeks heated. Everyone was smirking at his obvious discomfort.

"What's the matter, don't you think Éponine is attractive?"

"Of course I do, but I'm sure you all do, too…"

"And she's smart?"

"Obviously, but that's a no brainer…"

"And you're going to be married, living together, putting on a façade of a couple?"

"Yes, but…"

"You're going to bone." Grantaire deadpanned. "Hope you know what you're doing."

The room exploded in laughter. Enjolras sank into a chair, before laying his aching head on his arms. If tonight was any indication, married life was going to be _hell._

* * *

**Woohoo! Let me know what you guys think, and I'll try to have chapter 3 out next week! **


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